


No Such Thing

by hopelessgemini



Series: Bleeding Heart [1]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Autistic Entrapta (She-Ra), Bisexual Bow (She-Ra), Bisexual Glimmer (She-Ra), Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Canon Non-Binary Character, Canon Related, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Double Trouble is a nuisance, Elemental Magic, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, GUYS CATRADORA IS CANON CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, Glimmer is kinda paranoid, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lesbian Adora (She-Ra), Lesbian Catra (She-Ra), Magic-Users, Magical Tattoos, Mentions of Myth & Folklore, Nightmares, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Pining Catra (She-Ra), Sign Language, Slow Burn, Trans Bow (She-Ra), Useless Lesbians, Werecats, adding loads of tags now yay, and we love it, but it's not her fault, catradora, gotta love catra, idk what else to tag but we'll see, loads of magic stuff, okay very paranoid, well i mean catradora is canon so yeah
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24238717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopelessgemini/pseuds/hopelessgemini
Summary: there is a girl who seems to follow her everywhere. in her mind, in her memories, in real life, but always in her thoughts. she's everywhere.there is a girl, and Adora knows her. she knows her, down to the expression in those yellow-and-blue eyes and her brilliant smile. she can read everything about her - what her downward glances and half-smirks mean and what they don't, what she'd say if she could hear her thinking, how to hold her close when she needs it and how to give her space when she doesn't.too bad she can't remember who she is.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), well those are the important ones anyway
Series: Bleeding Heart [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1749508
Comments: 14
Kudos: 42





	No Such Thing

**Author's Note:**

> i literally didn't edit this at all, just banged it out and hit post.   
> you can absolutely tell.

_This is not how I wanted the day to start._

Adora folds her arms and frowns at Glimmer.

She's frozen in a position of extreme concentration and yet panic, glaring at the white-pink glow in her palms as it flickers and dies, pointing at the window of their shared apartment, all at the same time, and yet somehow managing to control the teleport spell forming in her subconsciousness and holding it until Adora replies, "What?"

"A-" * _poof_ * "-FACE- " * _poof_ * "-AT THE-" * _poof_ * "-WINDOW!"

Adora doesn't move. "A face. At the window. In this neighbourhood? On the fourth floor?"

Glimmer re-appears on the top of the kitchen table, balancing on the two square inches of space left over from this morning's breakfast, the remnants of the last teleport spell glowing in pink fragments around her and dispersing in the morning light. She's adorable when she's angry. 

"YES."

Adora raises her arms in submission, humouring her. It's best to let Glimmer fizzle out on matters like this, considering the fact that she's often right... in some way. Easier to let her panic for a few hours and then realise it was a window-cleaner or something than call the police. Which has happened before. Twice.

"So ...who did you see? Assuming you saw someone in the first place." She offers her a grin.

Glimmer doesn't smile back. "A girl."

Another puff of sparkles appears around her head. She's pissed. It's only Monday, and Glimmer isn't a morning person, so this is normal. For Adora, at least - Bow works a night shift, probably so he doesn't have to deal with 7-AM Paranoia.

"A hot girl?"

" _Shut up_. This is serious."

"Okay, okay..."

Adora takes a seat on the battered leather sofa and folds her arms. 

"I'm listening," she offers, ignoring Glimmer's tense expression. "Go on."

This was not how she was supposed to start her day. Instead of talking through her latest sighting of The Girl In Her Dreams And Sometimes Daily Life with Bow and Glimmer and _maybe having a sensible conversation for once..._ she gets to listen to her paraonid platonic-room-mate rant about her left-over trauma from being robbed on the subway last year by a shifter (Adora knew the shifter from high school, but no-one needed to tell Glimmer that. Ever).

Glimmer takes a deep breath and teleports onto the sofa next to her, folding her arm around Adora's shoulders (and leaning heavily on her, which Adora has learned to live with by this point).

"O _kaysoIwasmindingmyownbusinessbythewindowandthen-"_

Adora pokes her. "Hey. Slow down, crazy."

She gives her an evil glare. "You can't expect me _not_ to be freaked out."

"You're always freaked out, Glim. You'd think I'd be used to it..."

"That was _last year_. I'm over that. I didn't need that wallet anyway." Glimmer sits upright indignantly, pink-white light flaring briefly in the palms of her hands, illuminating her eyes in the fading afterglow. It's hard to remember why Adora grew out of her crush on her in the first place.

_Focus. Girl at the window. The Girl In My Dream._

Priorities first, being a useless gay later.

_~~**Sometimes those two things are the same, princess.** ~~ _

~~~~"Whatever. Say it again - slowly."

_Shut up, inner monologue._

Glimmer gives her another Look. "Okay. So, I was minding my own business by the window... and then there was this girl on the street below." She gestures vaguely to the kitchen window, running a hand through her hair to smooth the erratic early-morning spikes. "I didn't really... I mean, who's out jogging this early? Not even you."

Adora chooses to ignore her pointed glare.

"7:30 is a perfectly reasonable time to jog."

Glimmer rolls her eyes. "That's not the point. _The point_ is that when I went back to the window, the girl wasn't there."

"That's normal."

"She wasn't. She had these weird _eyes_ \- one was yellow and the other was _blue_. And she had pupils like a cat... "

Something hits her in the skull, pain spiking behind her eyes.

It feels like realisation, like regret, like anger, like crying herself to sleep with the feeling of _missing her_ every night, like screaming her throat raw because there's a hole in her somewhere and she can't fill it. 

Glimmer's still talking. She can't hear her. There are voices in her head, and they are pulling something loose in her mind- she doesn't want this now, she wants it to stop - those words, Glimmer's words, are on replay, and -

_weird eyes_

~~**_"How does it feel being the world's slowest person?"_ ** ~~

~~**_"Hey - fu... fuck you - for being - so -..._ _fast - werecat -"_** ~~

_one yellow_

**~~_"Adora!"_ ~~ **

**~~_"Good evening, beautiful. Where'd you get that suit?"_ ~~ **

**~~_"I have my ways. Coming?"_ ~~ **

_one blue_

_~~**"You look - uh, great! Great. You look great. Why do you always look that good?"** ~~ _

_~~**"Natural selection, princess. Come on! We're gonna be ... late...uh..."** ~~ _

_pupils like a cat_

~~**_"You know what, fuck work. Never mind."_ ** ~~

~~**_"Ha. I love you."_ ** ~~

~~**_"Shut up, nerd. Love you, too."_ ** ~~

It feels like a blow to the gut.

_I know that girl. I know her. I know her. That's her, that's The Girl, that's -_

She can't breathe.

~~_**Hey, Adora.** _ ~~

~~~~"Wh... what did you s-say?"

She isn't here, she's running along a cracked pavement, following a girl in a faded leather jacket, she's curled up around someone small and trembling with sobs, she's singing at the top of her lungs with blinding lights flicking in her vision and the throb of music vibrating on the soft breeze, she's holding someone's hand in the cool darkness, she's trying to copy the movements of the girl's hands and ignoring her bursts of laughter in response to her clumsy signs, she's clutching a mug of coffee and smiling at the girl across the table, she's dancing with someone in a sharp wine-red suit, she's sitting up in the early morning light and smiling at the dishevelled figure on the floor beside her bed.

She can't breathe.

Glimmer's eyes widen, and she has that fuzzy look that means she can sense powerful magic in her expression. She stands bolt upright and grips Adora's shoulders, pushing her back against the sofa. "Adora. Look at me. Breathe."

_I can't -_

~~_**"I promise."** _ ~~

**~~_"I'm here, I'm not letting you go."_ ~~ **

**~~_"I love you."_ ~~ **

"I... I promised her something, Glim, I -"

~~_**Ha. Yeah, you did.** _ ~~

_I can't breathe._

~~**_Shit._ Shit _. Hang on._** ~~

"Who?" Glimmer asks - patiently, softly. Her hands are still on Adora's shoulders, keeping her pinned in place.

~~_**Focus on that, yeah? Uh... why won't this** _ **fucking work _-_** ~~

She'd make a joke about useless bisexual magicians if she could breathe properly. Or at all.

"She... the - keep going, tell me about the girl-"

Glimmer's eyes narrow. She releases her grip on Adora's shirt and sinks to the floor, crossing her legs. "It would be easier to project it." She meets Adora's gaze evenly, suddenly calmer than before, and folds her arms into a defiant cross. "But I'm not doing anything until you explain."

_Explain._ It's too hard to explain. It's too hard too focus. It's too hard to do anything except relive every second of those dreams - no, _memories_ \- that rush through her head, to cling to the sound of that rough, familiar voice that she can't quite place, and the fact that the Girl is _real_ and Adora isn't crazy - 

~~_**This is going well for a first try, don't you think?** _ ~~

"I'm not crazy," she gets out.

Glimmer rolls her eyes. "Okay, let's work with that. Is this about the girl I saw?"

Nodding hurts and set her head spinning, so she squeezes Glimmer's wrist in affirmation.

"Did you recognise her?"

Another squeeze.

She should probably say something, but the words won't come. it feels like all the air in the room has been sucked away, and the walls are pressing in, she needs to get out, she needs to _run -_

~~**_Hey. Calm down._ ** ~~ ~~~~

Glimmer's hands tighten over hers. "Do you know her? Do you know her name?"

There is a gentle, firm pressure on her thoughts, almost like a block, and it seems to wall off the sense of being punched with her own memories. 

_~~**See, I told you I could do it, Scorpia!** ~~ _

~~_**Sorry. Wasn't meant for you.** _ ~~

~~~~And despite everything, she can almost hear the voice laugh. Like someone on the other end of a phone call.

~~~~****~~~~Coherent thought returns again.

_Thank you … whoever... whoever you are._

"No," Adora whispers, and takes a deep, gasping breath. Air floods in, the walls fold back, and the feeling of being struck vanishes... and is replaced with overwhelming terror. "No, I don't, I don't know who she is, I keep on seeing her and I _don't know who she is_ -"

~~_**Gods above, Adora, breathe. You're gonna knock me out of the connection.** _ ~~ ~~_**I'm not actively trying to terrify the shit out of you, it's just... magic is hard for beginners. I might have slipped up. I meant to send you a subtle message, not tap into your supressed memories or something. Sorry about that.** _ ~~

~~_**I just want to.. to talk. That makes sense, right? I just need to talk to you, and I guess I'm going about this the wrong way, but...** _ ~~

~~_**'I'll catch up with you, okay? You gotta be ready to see me next time. Don't have a real-life panic attack on me, I'm not good at handling those, period, and- just keep breathing and I'll meet you for coffee later.** _ ~~

Another deep, gasping, rattling breath that floods her lungs with air. 

And that _voice- gods, that voice..._

"Who _are_ you?" 

"... Adora?"

She flaps her hand at Glimmer, turning her focus on the voice. It's entirely separate from Adora's own thoughts now, rough and warm ,yet strangely familiar. Hollow, like the speaker has been emptied of all strength. But... she can feel the emotion behind it. Whoever this is, she - _yes, she_ \- is important, and she _cares_.

~~_**Me? Who am.. who am I?** _ ~~

~~_**Wow, Adora. Holy shit.** _ ~~

**_~~That means... that means sh~~ e_** **_~~really fucked with your mind, then. Scorpia was right about something, for once. Gods, she's gonna be so insufferable now.~~ _ **

~~_**MOVE, Emily.** _ ~~

~~_**In answer to your question... I'm not gonna tell you my name yet. I don't want to be trapped up with your mind in another flashback. Flashforward? I don't think half of what you saw has happened yet.** _ ~~

~~~~"What? What do you mean?"

She can hear the tremble in her voice. 

~~_**I mean ... okay, I** _ ~~ ~~_**may have screwed with your mind accidentally.**_~~

~~_**Sorry.** _ ~~

~~_**I** _ ~~ ~~_**know that doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make sense to me, either. I'm new to this whole mind-tapping stuff. But that's not important. What you should be thinking about is getting Sparkles over there to show you what I looked like earlier. That might help a little. It might trigger some more memories. Maybe you'll even get my name.** _ ~~

And then, a harsh clicking sound, like a door being eased shut. 

_Gods above, it_ hurts _._

The last thing Adora is aware of before blacking out is Glimmer's panicked face flickering before her eyes in shades of grey, dancing in and out of focus before vanishing altogether.

* * *

~~_**"Hey, Adora! I was wondering when you were gonna call."** _ ~~

~~_**"...hi."** _ ~~

~~_**Her fingers are trembling, palms slick with sweat as she fumbles for a proper grip on the phone jammed between her ear and shoulder.** _ ~~

~~_**"How's Bright Moon? How's your new family? The.. the Danaus family, right?"** _ ~~

~~_**No trace of bitterness in the voice on the other end. A hint of regret, of concern, maybe - but no anger.  
** _ ~~

~~**She really is happy for me, then, _she thinks vaguely._** ~~

~~**_"I miss you," is what comes out. "I ... I really, really miss you."_ ** ~~

~~**_The voice on the other end of the phone catches, stutters, comes to life again. A little weaker, she thinks. "I miss you too. Like, a lot."_ ** ~~

* * *

~~**_If the voice has a name attached to it, a face, she can't remember it._ ** ~~

~~**_She can't remember what the voice sounds like._ ** ~~

~~**_She doesn't remember a voice._ ** ~~

~~_**When Bow asks her, voice raised slightly over the hum of the rusty old television set, if she went to go see 'that girl from the care home' earlier that day, she thinks he's going mad.** _ ~~

~~_**"What do you mean?"** _ ~~

~~_**Bow's eyes widen. He studies her for a moment with wide hazel eyes, half-sprawled across the sofa with Gimmer's head in his lap. "You know... your friend? C-something? You were going to meet at Rogelio's new coffee place..."** _ ~~

~~_**Seeing her blank expression, he stops. Frowns. Goes back to the movie.** _ ~~

~~_**Adora wonders, later, if she imagined the shadows rearing up against the wall.** _~~

* * *

"Did it work?"

Catra swallows the rearing knot of anxiety in her throat and nods. "It worked."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah, that got incoherent.
> 
> let me know what was terrible so I can improve it! this is my first proper stab at fanfiction, so I'm always looking for advice and constructive criticism. I wrote all of this to my Catradora playlist and I think it shows.
> 
> comments give me sustenance. throw words at me and I will read them, appreciate them, and survive off them.
> 
> (stalk me on tumblr @nonbinarychaoticstupid and witness my devolution)
> 
> ~Miles Per Hour


End file.
